During the long hike back to the house, Jess Explained to her brother that she loved Darren.

"How much?" Jess's brother inquired.

"Oh, lots."

"Would you fuck him?"

"What? I'm not going to answer that!"

Jess's brother was still curious about Darren, so he asked me if I loved him too.

"Of course." I replied.

"Would you have sex with him?"

"Oh no. I'm not into that anal penetration thing, even if Darren is. I'd fertilise his eggs, though. If it was a totally asexual thing."

"You'd fertilise his eggs?"

"Yeah. I've never done it, mind. I shared a house with him for a while, and I saw his eggs in the fridge, but I never fertilised them. I got pretty intimate with his cordial once." I didn't think that needed elaboration at the time, and I'm not going to explain now.

When we got back to the house, Jessica pushed me in a ditch. She doesn't remember doing it, which is good, because it means she probably doesn't remember why she did it either. Then everyone went to bed.